Busting 6 of your mythical beliefs about the causes of burnout

As a burnout survivor, it took me a long time to both admit I had burned out and shift the blame from others back onto myself. I must take some of the blame for it. I’m going to share with you several myths about burnout we all carry around with us that are simply our fiction. Until it happens to you.

Myth #1:

Burnout happens as quick as striking a match

BUSTED!

Great visual, and while a burnt-out match is the recognized imagery worldwide for burnout, this isn’t how it happens. Full disclosure that I do ‘call’ my experience with burnout my implosion as I do look back at it and see it as something that happened instantaneously to me. But that is not what it was. The reality is, I had been headed that way for a couple of years and didn’t even know it. I can look back now and see all the signs I was ignoring, and that I was headed towards classic burnout. You will too once you allow yourself to look back at it with a more objective lens.

Myth #2:

People who burn out just need a few days R&R

BUSTED!

Ongoing constant mental stress from your work environment does not go away with a few days (or even a couple of weeks) respite from it. In fact, it often leads to chronic health conditions that require medical intervention so no, a vacation or a few days R&R  isn’t the answer. Early signs of un-managed stress of this nature do include interrupted, less or poorer quality sleep so absolutely catching up on your z’s on a relaxing vacation will help. Other early warning symptoms such as lack of mental clarity and focus, feeling of overwhelm, unexplained weight gain or hair loss are not going to go away by taking a few vacation days.

A quick story as an example: I’ve recently started working with a client who has been on the precipice of a full-blown burnout since we met almost 3 years ago. He wasn’t looking to me for coaching; I was just observing the shit show from afar and wondering when he was going to implode (OK, I know I said it isn’t an implosion but…keep reading).

In 2019, he was #2 top sales executive in the country for his company. He lives with a slew of chronic health issues including debilitating migraines just to name one he is on medication for. When we started coaching back in January. He hoped that he would be able to quickly slap a few boundaries in place, get a little self-care in his life and voila! He would be right as new.

Painful reality: reversing years of stress induced abuse on your body and waiting until in the midst of burnout is simply too late.

His turnaround and healing will take much time and work. He has agreed to go on disability at the recommendation of his doctors. We continue to work on setting boundaries, bring self-care into his life and peel away the layers of stress to see what is underneath while he works with the doctors on the physical ailments. He has every intention of going back to his successful career and has already stated his goal that he intends to become the #1 top sales executive in his company in 2021.

Myth #3:

Only weak, emotional people burn out

BUSTED!

Burnout does not discriminate. It does not matter if you are the CEO, a server in a school cafeteria or a top producing sales executive. If conditions are right and a person is not taking care of themselves, they are putting themselves at risk of burnout. That top-performing sales executive you can ALWAYS count on? According to Uncrushed (1), a burnout survey released in October of 2019 found that 67% of those surveyed agree / strongly agree that they are close to or currently experiencing burnout. What’s more is, 60% agree / strongly agree that they would be viewed negatively for taking time off to manage burnout. This perception must change immediately and it start with the top! Leaders and business owners worldwide must flip their priorities to protect the one thing that keeps their lights on; their human capital.

Myth #4:

Passion for what you do will prevent you from burning out

BUSTED!

That genius entrepreneur who lives eats and breaths their passions? (You must know I am thinking of my hero Elon Musk who sleeps 4 hours a night – if) Prime candidate. (Elon, I’ll coach you through your burnout when it hits). Those top producing sales executives? They LOVE what they do. And they love when you recognize them and give them more responsibility, a promotion or raise. Until they’ve had enough of the 60+ hour weeks, not seeing their family, living in a hotel, not being able to see their friends, take care of their health…the list goes on.

Top performers are known for burning the candle at both ends. When they do burnout, they do so spectacularly and completely. A reminder to STOP giving your top performers more and more. You will burn them out! I’ve yet to meet a top performer in my life that had healthy boundaries in place without having spent time working on their personal development (or with a coach) outside of their career to learn how to manage and balance it all (see above story of my top producing client).

Myth #5:

I’m not at risk, only women burn out

BUSTED!

Burnout is an equal opportunity destroyer. It knows no gender, age or ethnicity. A medical abstract published in 2018 (2) showed burnout symptoms varied greatly according to different life stages of working men and women. Men and women between 20-35 (millennial’s and younger) and 55 and over are particularly at risk. Why?

I can share my opinion as a burnout survivor who has studied it extensively.

To the 55 and over higher risk, I believe this has much more to do with the science of aging. As we age, our natural ability to handle stress decreases. We draw on various other hormones to support our body’s natural stress response hormone, cortisol.

When those other hormones run low, our stress response system has very little or no backup and we, therefore, begin to experience all sorts of physical reactions – including chronic illnesses – in response to the constant stress.

Further to this, back in the ’50s and even 60’s, retirement age was 55. This continues to creep up based on our extended life spans, and the ability to retire comfortably is getting more and more difficult to achieve. The finish line keeps getting moved for those wanting to retire, so they continue doing the same job with a decreased ability to handle the increased stress and demands on a job.

In my opinion regarding the younger generation burning out, I cannot thank this generation enough to bringing mental health awareness to the forefront of the corporate conversation. It is about time!

Yes, these adults grew up watching us (their parents!) go through two major historical events; 9/11 and the crash of 2007-10. Many watched their parents make sacrifices to feed the family and keep the heat on. They saw their parents lose their jobs, their homes, their pride, their everything and many families never come back from that loss. Millennial’s understood then, and got it completely right, that they will solely be responsible for taking care of themselves. They already know – at such a fragile young age – that neither their government or company they work for will ever have their best interest in mind. Finally, a generation that is saying hey wait, that doesn’t work for me! They are not selfish they are smart.

Corporations and leaders around the world take note: Millennial’s ‘get’ that in order to remain healthy & in balance, a three-legged stool is required for stability. They recognize the need for body/mind/spirit to work in tandem to have that balance, and only want to work for companies that value all three of these. They value life over stuff, experiences over wealth. Boomers and Gen X could learn much from the younger generations IMHO.

Myth #6:

Burnout means the end of your career

BUSTED!

Burning out means the beginning of enjoying your career on corrective terms. The time has come for you to set limits and boundaries on what is ok and what isn’t ok for you to take on. You work so you can have a life at home with your family. You do not work so you can be rewarded with more work.

When you do burn out, it is not instantaneous like striking a match (see the first Myth in this article). Chances are you’ve been heading this way for anywhere from six months to 3 years. You’ve probably carried a bit of a chip and negative attitude daily; recognize you don’t have a lot of joy in your life these days and are dealing with several chronic health issues you simply accept as chronic.

It will take time to come through the other side, but you will come out of it stronger, wiser and happier than you’ve been in a very long time. You do get to choose to continue your career path – with boundaries – or completely redefine it. It is your life and your choice. Burning out means a new beginning on your terms. Your choice.

COVID-19 CHANGES EVERYTHING:

The Coronavirus and the worldwide impact completely change what we think we know about this condition called burnout. Yes, the WHO has – how appropriately – placed golden handcuffs on the definition and tied it work-related stress specifically.

We are all at a much higher risk of burning out today than ever before. Our workplace (or lack of workplace) stress has literally followed us home. It is for this reason above all others that we all must take care to maintain as much balance as we can in our lives to off-set the additional stress. If we do not, we may very well burnout. It is inevitable without adjustments to manage the stress in your life.

A reminder that when we were all sent to shelter safely at home around the world, we were told by the medical world that it was more important than ever to take care of ourselves to protect ourselves from a virus we couldn’t see but could end our lives. Stress is much the same as this virus. You can’t see it, but it can end your life if not dealt with.

I understand how hard it is to get started with the concept of putting yourself first. I get the concept of self-care and boundaries are foreign to many. While imperative that you ‘figure this out’, this isn’t something you have to figure out on your own. There’s a ton out there for the reading if that is how you like to learn – I have several blogs on my site you can explore – or retain a coach to get you going. Just get started now. You can thank me later.

ABOUT RACHELLE

Hi I’m Rachelle Stone. I was a 25+ year veteran of the Meeting & Convention Industry who, in 2014, left to transition to full time Consulting & Coaching after my own professional implosion (yes, I burned out!). I now guide stressed out high performers and senior leaders through the strategic steps needed to break through plateaus and ceilings, accelerate their growth, increase profits, and reach their goals WITHOUT burning out.

BEFORE YOU GO

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Are you a high performer that can’t say no and are fearing burnout? I love to coach high performers through the process of learning how to set boundaries and navigate the challenges of being a high achiever WITHOUT burning out. Coaching provides you with an outside perspective, someone to hold you accountable to your goals and get you to the finish line quicker all while advocating for you to succeed. Let’s chat for 30 minutes on my dime and see if I am the right match to support you in your current journey.

And if you (or someone you know & love) are anything like I was and would rather be more like what I have become – someone who wants to do great things in your career while still loving your life – I invite you to hop on over to my website and take a look around. There’s a cool and quick assessment you can pick up for FREE which will help you determine your current state of capacity and balance right on the home page. Then let’s stay in touch!

Sources: (1) https://www.uncrushed.org/content/2019/10/8/research-findings-burnout-in-the-sales-industry-uncrushed-survey (2) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29912439